5 keys to raising happy and empathetic children
All parents in the world want, above all things, that their children be happy and become good, understanding and kind people. But it is difficult to educate them in empathy when they live daily with technologies and social networks that, many times, become a platform for intolerance or the attack on others who think differently.
The role of parents is key for children to grow in empathy, which will then allow them to have good relationships throughout their lives, contributing in addition to your happiness. Then they published a practical advice guide to learn how to raise them around it, respect for others, tolerance and love.
- Develop loving relationships with children
Children learn about respect when they are treated that way. So when our children feel loved, they become attached to us and that attachment makes them more receptive to our values and teachings. To strengthen this, the researchers recommend:
- Educate by example
Children learn values by observing our own actions and those of other adults that they respect. Therefore, we must be aware of practicing honesty, impartiality and taking care of ourselves. Seek to resolve conflicts peacefully, control anger and other complex emotions. But we must also show them humility, self-awareness and honesty, acknowledging our mistakes and shortcomings.
- Caring for others as a priority
It is very important that children hear and see from their parents that caring for others is a priority and that it is just as important as their own happiness.
Maintain high ethical expectations of children and prioritize that over other expectations: that they honor their commitments, that they do the right thing even when it is difficult, uphold important principles of fairness and justice, etc. As advice they recommend:
- Give a clear message: instead of saying “I just want you to be happy”, we should add “I just want you to be good and happy”. Verbalize that approach to life.
- Encourage children to resolve their frustrations. Before letting your child leave a sports team, band, or friendship, ask them to consider their obligations to the group or friend and encourage them to solve problems.
- Give them opportunities to practice caring for others and gratitude
Studies show that people who practice expressing gratitude are more likely to be helpful, generous, compassionate, and forgiving, and they are also more likely to be happy and healthy. For children, psychologists recommend:
- Give them real responsibilities: to help them routinely, for example, with housework and with younger siblings. When these kinds of routine actions are expected but not rewarded, they are more likely to take hold in everyday actions (only reward the very rare ones).
- Talk about caring and selfless acts that they see in their daily life or on television and about acts of justice and injustice that they might witness or hear on the news. Ask them how they see these actions and to explain why they think they are loving or selfless, fair or unfair.
- Expand the children’s circle of concern
Almost all children sympathize and care for a small circle of families and friends. Our challenge is to help children learn to empathize and care for someone outside of that circle, such as a new kid in class, someone who doesn’t speak their language, a new neighbor, etc. This is because they must also consider how their decisions affect a community. How to do it?
- Encourage them to consider the perspectives and feelings of those who may be vulnerable, such as a new classmate or a child who has family problems.
- Give them simple ideas to take concrete measures to help others, such as comforting a classmate who was a victim of bullying or giving him tips to reach the new student.
- Use newspaper or TV stories to start conversations with children about other people’s difficulties and challenges, or simply the different experiences of children in another country or community.
- Reinforce the importance of listening to others, especially those who may seem unfamiliar and who may be more difficult to understand immediately.